Why did I let things get this far? Sometimes I’m not too bright.
They said I was the part, to life. The jollied me along.
It’s opening night, I’m in the wings and paralysed with fright.
A racing heart and jelly legs, dry throat, don’t get me wrong,
I’ll go on if it kills me and most probably it will.
Producer smiles encouragement. It’s alright for you lass!
But I must brave that sea of vulture’s eyes. Their one great thrill
Will be to see yours-truly fluff and look a total ass.
It’s near the time when I go on. GREAT SCOTT! My mind’s gone blank.
What is it that I have to say? I thought I had it pat.
The missus is the one to blame. It’s her I have to thank
For getting me into this mess, No more! I’ll see to that.
Lady Amelia stands aghast. She’s found Lord Percy dead.
My cue!..Dear God in heaven, make me strong and unafraid.
I’m on!..Remember…august bearing…slow and measured tread…
Step over body on the floor…”Madam…Dinner’s delayed.”