Remember now, no chocolate bars or things not on that list
Enjoined my darling wife as I departed and we kissed.
“What me? I’ll be a rock,” I said, “As blind as blind can be
To every blandishment that supermarket throws at me.
Her disbelief was patent as I headed for the door.
Beneath her breath she muttered that she’d heard that one before.
From her! Beloved of marketers, a puppet in their dance,
Piling goods into her trolley with her eyes glazed, in a trance.
As I’ve told her, stressed it strongly, again and yet again,
What purchasing requires is some business acumen.
I say this, and I should know, since my professional role
Is in the field of purchase and inventory control.
I trod those super-minefield aisles extremely cautiously.
Edged round the ‘Fiji Holiday’, the ‘Buy Two Get One Free.’
Crept past the ‘Birthday Specials’ and the ‘Win a Honda Car,’
Dodged ‘New!New!New! and ‘Grocery Grab’ and ‘Improved Formula!’
Those sirens who display in-store their wares to passers-by
Sought to entice with little chunks of new foodstuffs to try,
I showed to every one of them the disdain they deserve,
Ignored their sultry come-on smiles. Those hussies have a nerve.
I went home vindicated with the bare list, as I’d said.
Well. Apart from salted cashews and a luscious Bordeaux red.
A fancy chocolate gateau. One must have some joy in life.
I’d not fallen to temptation. These were presents for the wife.